Oh what a night (another song title)! Couldn't fall asleep until about 1am, so I just lay there cuddling the dog and listen to her breathing. Whenever I do that, I can't help but thinking that one day I won't be able to hear that anymore. I get sad, I cry. I can't sleep. Well, at least I can cry again and that very plentyful too. When I finally did fall asleep I very promptly had a strange dream about the dog. 'I had gone to some big punk festival, not just stages there, but also tents and booths where you could buy stuff. Isis was off the lead, but kept close to me. Then I lost her. I ended up running around shouting her name and whistling. What seemed a long, long time, she didn't come back. When she finally did, her head was all bandaged up, even over the eyes. So I thought, that it wasn't a surprise that it took her so long to find me. I tried checking under the bandages for damage and saw some blood. I turned round to talk to somebody and when I turned back, Isis had removed all the tape around her face. She was crouching under a side table. Her injuries weren't bad, just some slash under her left eye. The person I had talked to had told me that the dog unfortunately got between 2 guys fighting and got booted. I thought that that was lucky and that she would be fine. I bent down to her to comfort her and I suddenly realised that Isis was actually talking to me. Something about that I never listened to her properly and that this was the reason she had run off. We had some sort of conversation about it and everything was ok from then. We walked out of the dream together.' The question is: What does it all mean? Who is the blind one here (bandages over eyes)? What am I not listening to? Who was fighting and why (daughter and me probably?)? I jolted awake at 3.30am with those images still vivid in my mind. Actually, they still are now. I had to go downstairs and have a cigarette, also I made sure that the dog was ok. Silly me! Went back to bed at 4am and grabbed another couple of hours sleep. But now I feel shattered and I am battling the urge to just slip back into bed. Generally speaking I could do that, I haven't got much planned today, but I would feel guilty about that. Wouldn't that mean sliding into the typical day routine of a hopelessly unemployed person? I feel at fault enough about that, I don't need to enhance it with the actions to prove it. On the other hand, bed really does look inviting ...Nothing from Jessica yet. I guess she doesn't want to be loved and thought about at the moment. I have to leave it up to her to approach me again I reckon.
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