Well, this could be a pic of me at the moment. Feeling dreadfully empty, in heart and soul. I so want to animate the flow of creative energy, but get stuck with thinking about it and not doing, which of course pollutes the flow even further. I keep telling myself, that maybe now is not the time for creativity and moving forward, but on the other hand I want it so much, mainly because I will never have as much time on my hands again. Once recovered, I will have to go back to do some sort of job to be able to survive. The freelance work has completely dried up, so no extra monies coming in. Luckily I only spend about £30 a week at the moment. It's such a difference to before, when I didnt have to worry about how much I spend. Tomorrow though I might splash out on some baby wool and hopefully start knitting baby clothes and crocheting the mobile for the crib hehe. Thanks Kittie for those ideas :-)Bath College has cancelled my online course as I didnt maintain logging in and sending assignments at regular intervals. However, they have offered me that I can finish it, when treatment is over. So I suppose I have to be grateful for that.
I hope tonight I might be able to get back to doing the logo and the next flyer for the Nomads Forum. Had to get away from it for a couple of days, the constant staring at the monitor was making my head pound.
Another hospital appointment tomorrow. More bloods and a fresh set of syringes and Ribavirins. Yayyy ... more drugs!!!
2 comments:
I thought that I might find the creative juices flowed when I went on Tx and write some songs... I just can't find it in me... but that has been through out my life long periods of not playing guitar and then one day just suddenly picking it up... I know when I was writing sometimes I could try too hard... and I used to say "sing what you see"........ it will come K.. but what you have done so far is well accomlished and professional.. we are truly blessed to have you amongst our tribes.... xx
Thanks Jub, but you know it doesnt feel that way, when you're hanging around alone. The negative thoughts just keep coming. I am sure you understand, being in the same situation.
Fishy xxx
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