Doomed!!!

I am doomed I tell you! Number 13 has hit with a vengeance. I have had headaches after shots before, but not quite like this. My muscles and joints keep giving way that moment I am an the stairs, and twice today I found myself sitting down on them unplanned. Quite lucky I didnt fall really. Seems I have to be different in everything. Where as most people find treatment easier either towards the middle or towards the end, I so far had it rough beginning and middle, and somehow I can't convince myself that the end will be much better. And then of course the detox. How quickly will this shit leave my body or am I am going to be one of the really unlucky ones and it decides to never leave?

Today was one of those days where I could have happily just slept through. Even nice weather outside doesnt do it for me anymore. That is so atypical for me! I meant to do the lawns today, clean the rabbit, clean the house, as my landlady is coming round for contract renewal. What have I done? I have dusted, hoovered (downstairs, in the hope she doesnt go upstairs), tried to move the rabbit hutch outside because he stinks, but managed to break a leg off, so now he is stuck halfway in and halfway out the back door (smelly end out LOL) and will go and sweep up and mop the kitchen and porch floor now. I would like to leave that too, but would feel too guilty. On the other hand, I told P 3 days ago that they are coming round and that some cleaning needs to be done. He hasnt lifted a finger! So why should I do everything. And surely Liz wont blame me, knowing about tx and all. So there!!! *evil grin*

I am seriously wondering, if I have over the last few years become asexual. Although I still look at men and women as beautiful or attractive, I dont have the urge to have sex with either gender. In fact the simple thought about sex makes me somewhat cringe. I have never really enjoyed it, only in short bouts at beginnings of relationships, and I have always felt guilty about my reduced sex drive. Now at my age, I dont need excuses for it anymore. It will remain to be seen, if this non-existent libido is actually down to the HCV and/or treatment, and might return when all this is over, or if it is something permanent. It wouldnt greatly disturb me. At my age, nobody ist going to look at me lustily and expect plenty of action between the sheets, so I am safe I think. This does, however, not mean, that I dont love people, because I do. What a weird place to be in!!