... and I am so fed up, I could explode. I scored pretty badly on the depression chart at the hospital yesterday and the nurse seemed slightly worried. She wondered, if I needed some extra supervision, but I told her that it probably is because I am so fed up with it all. She asked, why and with what exactly. I told her not to get me started, but then just blurted out, that I am fed up with 90 year old women overtaking me all the time, just because they are able to walk faster than me and breathe better than me,
I am fed up with the constant and more and more serious skin problems, fed up with my hair falling out and having bald patches, fed up with my life being on hold and and and. Anyway, she broke out in a laugh, and it was her beautiful black face with a very happy smile and the deep, African guttural laugh that cheered me up. And I laughed with her. So we both giggled for a while. Very soothing! She was a nurse I hadnt seen before and I keep thinking, treatment might have been a lot easier, if I had had her all the way through. She talked to me like an adult and was able to laugh with me like children. A very good combination for somebody as fed up as me.
Well, today I should get the results of yesterday's blood test. She did say, that the last few weeks were a bit worrying, but they didnt reduce my dose as they were trying to push me through. She was also the first nurse to say, that if it gets unbearable to phone her. Why couldnt that have happened earlier. Not that I would have phoned, not one to moan down the phone, but just to know that there was such an option would have been comforting. They also did my end of treatment PCR, which means I should know in about 2 weeks if the virus has gone for good. Ah no, that I will know in 7 months time, but it would be very good to be undetected at this stage. Fingers n toes crossed, ey?
So far shot 21 has been uneventful apart from a pretty sleepless night, but I think that was more down to the family of mice that seems to be nisting in my bedroom wall and keep me awake with their hustling and bustling. Bloody cats not doing their job!!! On the other hand, how would they get into the wall? ;-)
2 comments:
so glad you found a good nurse. i've been so lucky to have the same lovely aussie one everytime. it helps to have a laugh with someone that understands doesn't it?
hope your shot is still un-eventful. my last shot has been pretty poo...but at least its the last one! you aren't far behind sista...xxx
I can't see the picture, I wonder why? In less than a month you'll be done with all this treatment crap and on the road to wellness. Now that you found a nurse who's a little understanding, can you ask to see her every time, or is it totally random who you see? I had a lousy physician's assistant, (I called him my physician's ASS!) I think if I had someone a little more sympathetic, I would have had an easier time with a lot of things.
I'm counting down the days with you, keep fighting!
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